Hip Hip Hooray

On the night of my recent birthday I wrote a blog which upon reading the next morning was whiny and did not sound like I had lived the 26 years I'm now touting. It focused mainly on the idea that the sum total of my efforts thus far would only amount to about 23 years for any barely competent individual and that even with a lot of resting that leaves me with 3 years which I have truly wasted. Not even in the drink and drugs way that I'd like to have wasted a couple of years. That little paragraph above was stretched to a galling couple of hundred words and resolved nothing. As an aside I typed up a list of pros and cons of The Shane. Pros 1. no receding of the hairline. A slight greying at the temples all rendered immaterial due to preference for shaved head. Still it should be noted. 2. as time passes steadily rising up the percentiles of what classes as being in great shape for my age. By age 40, hopes to beat ex-Olympian at something. 3. majestic shoulders, comparatively useless but majestic nonetheless. 4. Modest, has trouble making a list of positives about himself 5. does not use textspeak 6. Has seen most of the films that people talk about at parties, making him invaluable at quizzes and in identifying films based on small snippets of plot or cast credits 7. does not drink a lot either in volume per sitting or in frequency 8. Has not killed anyone. Though insists on qualifying that with "yet" 9. Not a conspiracy theorist 10. Sleeps soundly most nights and some days 11. Good at spelling, not great though. 12. Eats his steak medium to medium rare as a consideration to the animal and others who have ordered and may otherwise be delayed. In fact finds that as he grows older and fewer and fewer things matter to him, dreams of steak have become the most important thing in his life. 13. Punctual, sometimes to the point of being irritating, very frequently to the point of being irritated and then showing this irritation. Cons 1. Occasionally, needlessly pedantic. 2. Does not play well with others. In fact thinks many people are fucking muppets and fears that this shows through his poor attempt to hide it. 3. Slips confusingly between the third and first person. 4. I sometimes over sleep which means I make the choice between a nutritious breakfast and speeding on my way to work. 5. Rarely misses breakfast even when late. 6. Does not believe in what he is doing and fears that someone might spot this 7. While is good at spelling is poor at punctuation 8. Is crippled by a deep seated fear that while I think that people would understand I refuse to put into words because of the well deserved shame that I would feel. 9. Refusing to humour more and more people 10. Blogs rather more than is necessary with a quality control mechanism that is lacking. 11. The tears won't come because I won't let them. 12. Can only satisfactorily cook five or six things. 13. Strangely angular, asymmetric head. And so it went. I imagine there are more pros, definitely more cons. Taking stock