Me and Willie Nelson

I have rarely been heartbroken. So utterly crushed and defeated that I felt like crying. I don't cry because it doesn't help. What follows is the blog that was written when I was in one of those fine situations. It may not be my best, in fact it certainly isn't but it marks a moment that I should really remember. The fires have to be stoked and all those people made to pay. I reckon me and Willie Nelson have lived pretty different lives. Not just me and Willie. I've lived an entirely different life from all the musicians that I listen to. To be honest I can't really relate to the exact situations that they sing about and in some cases while I like the songs I probably wouldn't agree, at least not enthusiastically. I'd agree a little, Trent Reznor has the look of a believer and it'd be safer to just play along. That said though, I like the songs and some of the lyrics hit the nail on the head so fucking accurately when I think of them in relation to my own situation. Now I'm counting out the songs that just tell stories. That's what I really like about Johnny Cash; the stories. Gotta love the stories. Yesterday I was lethargic and disinterested in people and conversation. I couldn't focus and all I wanted was a big long lasting hug. This little episode unfortunately fell at the end of the college term and I wasn't sure whether I was sad or just really hungover. Rarely do I get headaches when I'm sad and rarely do I feel like crying like some sort of whinging bitch when I'm hungover - but that was the type of day. I really just wanted a hug. With the morning came me feeling much better, being a little lighter (what I need is a good stomach flu) and the inevitable shame. To cut to the chase though - I wasn't sad. I was happy, well happier than yesterday. I listened to the same songs and heard the same lyrics as I heard yesterday and I could see why I might have associated them with things that may have made me sad, but it was the hangover talking for the most part. When Willie Nelson sings "angels love bad men", I still feel a little like I need a hug. "That's how its always been"