Tandem Felix

Ever hear that old joke? Waiter is called to a hotel room to deliver yet another bottle of champagne. He walks in and surveys the scene. Sprawled on the bed along with several beautiful naked women is George Best. The waiter ponders for a second and asks, "George, where did it all go wrong?". In the extended version of that story I imagine a drunk and enraged George Best struck the waiter violently and returned to the orgy.

That was then and this is now. George Best's career fluttered and died and so did he. Conversely Charlie Sheen achieved early on the dizzying heights that most can only dream of and is now reaping the rewards. He's been in era defining movies and in terms of awards is only shy the Oscar which truth be told he'd probably have to speak in an impeded English accent to get. He's one of the highest paid TV actors around. The dude has done it all.

People condemning his behaviour, his drugs, his parties, his porn stars, etc are all just jealous. Let the man reap his rewards.

Capri Anderson
Bree Olson
Bombshell McGee
Ginger Lynn
Heather Hunter

This is not an exhaustive list of women in the porn industry who have been romantically (traditional notions of romance are here challenged) linked to Charlie Sheen, to say nothing of the many, many hangers on and less famous but equally eager friends. If the Internet is to be believed then some of these women came in pairs or even trios.

There are many things that would heighten my enjoyment of a sexual situation, better technique, improved flexibility, a clearer understanding of what's going on but above all of this would have to rank better looking partners who bring their friends. I'd like that.

As for the drugs, I bet Charlie gets that special coke that's smuggled in boxes and not up some guy's ass. Movie star grade cocaine. He's got an clinic of doctors and a team of problem solvers to pick up the pieces after him. He is the poster boy of people who should be allowed do drugs.

One of the wealthy who could fit in so easily if only he conformed. He's a man with a purpose standing against an oppressive regime, defying convention and sleeping with some ladies along the way. I don't want to say that he's this generation's Oskar Schindler but he's damn close.

He's a flawed hero but a hero I can get behind. A man unafraid to sacrifice himself on the altar of celebrity and to live and publicise the life I can only dream of. God bless you Charlie Sheen.