Age is just a number

A very important number that with the kind of accuracy of normal distribution can predict the spending patterns, life expectancy, political views and all sorts of other things that make us unique. For reasons like this it's as important when you come from as where you come from.

I come from the time of Bosco on afternoon TV sitting beside a fire because oil or gas heating wasn't invented or we were too poor. I hate that obnoxious little red-haired fuck. I hate the fact that the word "uafásach" is burned into my brain. I hate that while I can't consciously remember the theme tune, hearing it brings me back to that cold room and two channels of television.

Most of all I've hated the suggestion that a gift you made yourself was somehow better than one you bought ie the one made by professionals. Bosco is responsible for parents receiving poorly painted shit instead of gifts for decades. Inside that puppet was someone giving us all the middle finger.

I've been militant in this belief for years, until now. For this little arts and crafts session you'll need
1. A belt
2. A plastic bottle
3. A paper towel holder
4. A shitload of duct tape
5. Knife/scissors

Mangle these together and you have the perfect gift for a parent, a partner or even just a stranger who needs a little pick me up



An impromptu strap-on.