I'd love you to believe that I'd been quietly considering what to say. How to sum up what has transpired in one elegant blogpost. Giving credit where credit is due. Admitting my own faults. Striving to seek a balance and atone for all that keeps me awake at night. Fuck that. I've had no internet.
Careful consideration and the unconditional support of my peers has convinced me I was completely in the right. No question of it. They should make me a saint or name a cathedral after me or something. Maybe a statue in the city centre.
So what have I learned from this fiasco?
1. Trying to build a relationship with a man who has "Everything Fades" tattooed on his arm is maybe not the most realistic thing to do.
2. While the allure of women and whispered nothings is undeniable, Nerf and beer is fucking awesome.
3. While I previously tried to reconcile the wisdom of sitcoms with the idea of reasonable female actions I can now conclude that women are batshit crazy given the right trigger. In this case the right trigger was me.
4. While saying "chillax" to some people will rile them up, saying "after the way I've been treated the past couple of weeks?" is my flash-phrase. I think it unlikely the average junkie accidentally happening on that one.
5. In bygone days ending a relationship via text message seemed rude or uncaring. I disagree. The depth of emotion could be seen by the indiscriminate use of umlauts.
6. Better now than after what would have been a picnic seething with repressed emotions.
7. That cats have more in common with snakes than they do with dogs.
This may seem like very little to have taken from the relationship. Biographers may someday debate the importance of this, but to date my life has yielded one original life lesson. That is, if you have a blocked nose and no tissue paper do not blow your nose while in a public restroom, you have no idea what might be there.
No comments:
Post a Comment